The Friendship Room

Something on the Current Political Situation

2005-06-11T01:08:00.000+08:00

We're being played for fools here. We always have, and I guess that's just the way governance works. In every population under a political institution, the people can never really tell what the truth is.

Call it whitewash, propaganda, skewed media or whatever, we are always left tackling questions of which we will never know the answers.

Apparently it's inherent in the system (apologies for the Matrix-speak). But is it really a necessary evil whenever multiple interests are forced to compromise? When the palette of colors are mixed, do they always have to end in a shade of uncertain grey?

Paint me a picture where politics displays true colors. If it can be done.

Cliches in life... EXAAMMM!!!

2005-04-02T11:23:00.000+08:00

In times of trouble.. the greatest solution is to pray... Now to pray for wad is the question.. many feel its for help or answers, but wad about the prayer for strength... Its exam season peepz, yeah.. that dreaded word.. and honestly speakin.. i dun feel like studying anymore... Life is a circular cliche, as this happens every year or maybe its cos of the fact im still in school heheh... strange strange strange... Actually exams dun freak me out.. its just that this paper chase drives me bananas.. i mean who cares wad degree u get.. ure emplyers thats who.. but is this really a true measure of a man?? i mean we slave and slave over our desks.. when working and living is all bout learning the lessons of life... with these thoughts.. we are left to ponder?? =)

"words are what great men use, actions are what makes a man great"
- CJ (2005)

2005-03-30T13:09:00.000+08:00

The Parable of the Dead Dog

By: Senator Juan Flavier

THE dog was a much-loved family pet of 15years. It was acquired on the birth of the eldest son. All showered on the pet such affection like a true member of the family. The dog ate with them and slept on the same bed as the youngest daughter.

Whenever each member arrived, they would spend time to cuddle and play with the dog. It could wag its tail and jump with joy on seeing anyone of the family.

So when the dog died of old age all were terribly heartbroken. For in the truest sense a member of the household had passed away. The children could not eat. Nothing could console them.
The farmer felt the same way. He realized the best way to comfort his family was to bury the dog in a ceremony as solemn and as elaborate as he accorded to a human.

He bought a regular coffin and provided fresh flowers befitting a dearly beloved departed. Since he was not much of a church goer and was not a member of any congregation, the problem was the religious service.

In town was a Methodist church. The pastor listened to the unusual request for a solemn ritual. He understood how the whole family felt. But in the end he offered no hope. "Our rules would simply not allow me to extend to the dog which has no soul the same rites reserved for humans created in the image of God. But let me add that this is only our view as Methodists. Other groups may be agreeable. Why don’t you try the Muslim mosque at the edge of town?’’

The farmer left disappointed and proceeded to see the Muslim imam. "You must understand that our rituals specifically prohibit inclusion of animals. We have nothing against dogs but your request is out of the question. Maybe you can approach the rabbi at the synagogue.’’

The rabbi was even more firm and discouraging. "In our tenets, the dog is considered ritually unclean. Of course we keep them as pets or for companionship and even security. But I am afraid we cannot make our temple available for such a ceremony. I am sure the Catholic priest in town can help you.’’

The priest was very sympathetic but very quickly shook his head. "I admire your feelings towards your dog. Your sorrow must be deep indeed for dogs can be such lovable companions. But our rules cannot be changed. To do that, I must get a special dispensation from the Pope. That process takes a very long time.’’

At that point, the farmer was resigned to the unanimous view. Sadly he bade the priest goodbye. "I understand your predicament, Father. But rules are rules. If it can’t be done then so be it. It meant so much to us. In fact, to show how deeply we desire a church ritual for our dog, I was prepared to donate five thousand pesos to the church.’’

As the farmer stood up to leave, the priest pressed the farmer’s shoulder as a sign to remain. "Just a second, my son. Maybe I was too hasty in my views. Perhaps I did not understand all the facts of the case. Did I hear you say the dog was raised as a Catholic?’’

---I wonder if this is what they talk about in the senate......

Max Ehrmann's Desiderata

2005-03-27T13:41:00.000+08:00

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember...

Questions... Answers?

2005-03-15T01:57:00.000+08:00

It is indeed very confusing when people just ask you these weird and confusing questions. It just makes you wonder why these questions are being asked. They may mean what they just literally mean. However if you actually think deeper into the question, it might actually mean something more, something about the future, or even something that the person asking the question wants to let you know indirectly. I don't know. I don't know what to answer. I don't know what to say. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Well, this is life. Sometimes things just suddenly get confusing.

word

2005-03-13T01:45:00.000+08:00

This week is...it's just too much for me. I've never felt this squeezed and stressed for as long as I can remember. My wall is covered by mocking post-it-notes that seem to shout at me to do this and that everytime I look at them.

I just feel like crying. It's disgusting, I know. I never even thought of crying last term, but this time, I don't know why. I just want to break down somewhere where I can just wallow in my pool of misery. Enough...I can't stand it...

*groans*

Bagong Luma

2005-03-10T19:42:00.000+08:00

Bagong Luma, Gagong Pana

Heto nanaman isa pang suliranin
Naiibang kalagayan ngunit 'di panibagong damdamin
Pinagsikapan ko mang kalimutan at 'di na bigyang pansin
Hindi na talaga maiwasan, may kailangan nang gawin.

Ito ba'y lilipas, panibagong abala lamang
O 'di na ba dapat umiwas pagkat mayroon na mararatnan?
Kapag ang alab ay pumiglas at hindi na mapanghawakan
Magagawa ko bang mangahas, tigilan ang pangangatwiran?

Bagong luma, gagong pana
Ito ba talaga'y dala ng tadhana?
Dalang luha't sugat ng matinding tama
Mapabubuti ba nitong bagong luma?
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My apologies to those who could not understand. I had to express myself in the language that embraces the essence of my soul. Haha.

The Mind, and an empty can rattling

2005-03-10T10:02:00.000+08:00

The human mind. I love it. It can make numerous huge mistakes. But to me, it still is the single most important creation that was ever put forth. The mind and its abilities distinguish us as a species. The mind and its abilities distinguish individuals.

The human mind has diversified us. Its creator unified us. That creator is Love.
---------------------------------------------

"Well Brutus, thou art noble.
And yet I see that thy honourable mettle
can be wrought from that it is disposed.
Therefore 'tis meet that noble minds keep ever with their likes.
For who so firm that cannot be seduced?"

Caius Cassius, William Shakespear's Julius Caesar

Ah, the randomness of thoughts

2005-03-08T01:46:00.000+08:00

I have been listening to this song over and over again for the past few days. I dunno, the lyrics are amazingly gruesome and dark (even suggests something like grave digging), not to mention, the music itself is really enticing, almost hypnotic. But heck, I'm really hooked into it. It's "Walking Dead" and it goes something like this:

(Suppose you were to die tonight.
What would you say?
Do you believe in life after death?)

In the chill of the night,
I can feel my heart racing,
As I run towards the light,
that seems so far away,
Wondering forever, in the darkest of shadows,
Wondering if I will ever see you again.

Wondering if I will ever see you again

I'll take your love (I'll take your love),
I'll take your hate (take your hate),
I'll take your desire.

I'll take the world,
When it turns on you (when it turns on you),
I'll set it afire.

(The walking dead, the walking dead.)

Digging in the dirt,
I can feel you getting closer,
Steadying my hands through the blistering pain,
Anxiously awaiting for the earth to reveal you,
Wondering if I will ever see you again.

Wondering if I will ever see you again.

I'll take your love (I'll take your love),
I'll take your hate (take your hate),
I'll take your desire.

I'll take your heart,
I'll take your pain (I'll take your pain),
I'll bring you to life.

I'll bring you to life...

(The walking dead, the walking dead.)

I'll bring you to life...

I'll take your love (I'll take your love),
I'll take your hate (take your hate),
I'll take your desire.

I'll take the world,
When it turns on you (when it turns on you).

(The walking dead, the walking dead.)

I'll take your love (I'll take your love),
I'll take your hate (take your hate),
I'll take your desire.

I'll take your heart,
I'll take your pain (I'll take your pain),
I'll bring you to life.

I dunno...I still have like tons of workload to do. I have this bad feeling that things will come crashing down on Week 12. *sighs* But then again, I shouldn't be too selfish. I'm sure everyone's going through some "tougher than tough" things right now. I guess what's keeping me going right now is the thought of "Week 15" and the exaggerated 18 weeks long summer break.

Sounds promising? *smirks* ahk...hopefully yes.

2005-03-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

I am sitting in the same bench that I have been sitting on for the past four days, doing a new batch of work... I wouldn't say this is becoming monotonous. Everyday, I sit here expecting to do this and that, but I check the mail... surprise! More work for your enjoyment! How much more exciting can it be?

I'm seriously getting tired. Sometimes, there are things that I pour my heart and soul out for though they are not required of me. And the people at the other end are like... ...Nothing. I don't know how to allocate my time anymore. I don't know whether I should be spending so much time and effort on this kind of people...

----------------------------------------------------

I am running out of blog ideas. Last term, there was always something to blog about. Ideas that were weird, funny, slightly profound or whatever else kept flooding my head. Now, when so much more is happening in my life, I turn dry. My brain feels like a raisin - all wrinkled and shrinked down. Oh well, my whole body is turning into a raisin ayway, right? Everyone can see it...

Blah...

Well Brutus, thou art noble.

And yet I see thy honourable mettle can be wrought from that it is disposed

Therefore tis meet that noble minds keep ever with their likes

For who so firm that cannot be seduced?

Caius Cassius

William Shakespeare's The Tragedy of Julius Caesar

Something to laugh at

2005-03-06T18:13:00.000+08:00

errm, just check the link out. It'll eventually speak for itself. *grins*

Harakiri

2005-03-04T21:41:00.000+08:00

Should I laugh or should I cry? Read THIS.

The Adder

2005-03-04T06:02:00.000+08:00

Everytime I go back to the lodge, my heart sinks. It does not feel like home at all - not even close. I'm even starting to feel more comfortable in the stressful environment of SMU.

There, I feel as if I'm killing myself with too many things going on at the same time. But I feel fulfilled and I'm getting more and more empowered by the day. I know why I'm there, and I know what I'm working towards. Consequently, passion just pours out and drives everything I do. There's also the reassurance that I am not the only one working for what I'm driving at.

In SMU, I can devote all my time and energy for the realization of my dreams. Someone always told me to see myself as a toothpaste tube that has been squeezed out, twisted here and there, until nothing more can come out. Then he'd say that only then would I experience the exhilaration that comes from exhaustion. And it's true. I do feel exhilaratingly exhausted at the end of each day. Each day I try to squeeze myself out and push myself to the edge. Each day we get one step closer to the dream.

I come back to the lodge, and the feeling dies. The enthusiasm is gone, the passion dries up. Fatigue is the sickening residue. Something about this place just kills all the youthful exuberance in me. It murders the dream. It just makes me sick.

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"My words fly up, but my thoughts remain below. Words without thoughts never to heaven go."
- Claudius, William Shakespeare's Hamlet

Photo Opportunity

2005-03-03T13:55:00.000+08:00

Finally, you may enjoy the pictures from Valentine's Day and Waikiki.

Access them at www.ofoto.com
User e-mail address is: sam.christian.chan@gmail.com
Password: scscsc

You may also want to upload your photos to this location so that we can all enjoy laughing at each other's faces. (TIP: For faster uploads, use Internet Explorer and download the photo upload program.)

Cheap but Sweet,
Sam

Realizations... =)

2005-02-14T16:36:00.000+08:00

HAPPY V DAY TO ONE AND ALL!!!!

yup.. today is that time of yr, where everything is marked up 150% and girls expect guys to match Bill Gates, yes what a wonderful commercialised world we live in..

I came to a realization... That in life.. there are only two possible paths.. doing things that one regrets and doing things that one does not (gee DUH!!!) i did something i regret..yet for some divine reason.. at the last minute it became something ill always remember... I went baq into my r/s wif only half a heart..being wary and all.. yet i couldnt take it.. and i heard the sweetest words too " It takes two hands to clap" yes!! she had finally realised that i can t do everything on my own, that it takes two people.. yet... i feel like a bastard.. for saying the things i had... for even thinking f going into the r/s half hearted.. im appaled at myself.... in life one asks for forgiveness... but true forgiveness can only come from within.. and itll be sometime before i forgive myself for that... Im giving it another shot.. and this time i aint holdin baq.. its worth it... its gonna be better and ill give it my all... wad a strange world we live in..
anyway.. bettter study now.. EXAM TOMOLO!!! muahahahahhahahahah.. k im mad hee

Cheers

CJ

PAL flight 999

2005-02-12T23:54:00.000+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mabuhay!, this is your Captain Biglang-awa speaking, We are now over the Philippine trench where you can find the deepest part of the Pacific ocean.

Here you can also find almost all the ferocious creatures in the sea, there's the killer sharks, barracudas and many others. And now for the finale, please, stay calm and don't panic for both our engines are dead and we are now going down into that ocean.

Please wear your life vest. We are going to crashland this plane into the water. In the meantime, I would like you to follow everything I'm going to say, repeat after me: "Our Father Who is in Heaven ..."

On Hoo-Hah and brain cells... Of being and thought

2005-02-12T19:58:00.000+08:00

I was drinking last night with alex, 2 Indian guys whose names have slipped my mind, and my brother, Aaron. Then we got to talking about gigging in this 70's bar in Pasir Panjang. I thought, why not? I mean, I love singing and playing guitar, and Aaron and I would be able to get some extra cash.

So we all went down to the bar, and I got to sing Jealous Guy, sing and play I Never Cry and What's Up... The highlight was the last one, coz Aaron went onstage to sing with me, and after, he was screaming, "This is my brother!". That was rockin. The guys who worked there said it was great and we might get the job. I'm not sure whether we will, though. I hope we do...
---------------------------------------------------------

We all have times when we just stare off into space, thinking about nothing at all (some do it more than others, though).

One of my friends told me that it is a scientific fact that everytime someone does that, he/she loses brain cells. Someone else told me that there comes a point in life when a person losing brain cells would never grow them back (so don't do drugs).

So Aaron and I were talking about it, and thought that this is probably one of the reasons why we humans never reach the full potential of what our brains can do. Maybe, if we by any chance abolish this despicable habit, the human brain could fully comprehend the world and how it works. Maybe we get to know God, what or who He/She/It really is, and understand the intimate relationship between humans, the world and the divine.

It's just a possibility. I don't know... I've been staring off too damn much.
---------------------------------------------------

"...thought did not create being. Being created thought."
-Ludwig Feuerbach

"Lagi naman akong cute e..."
-Charlene Chan

Words

2005-02-12T16:44:00.000+08:00

Good night...

Dream...

Welcome to my realm...

Worship Deification Idolatry Rapture Bliss Lust Passion Ecstasy Trance Amour Infatuation Exaltation Madness Love Flame Spark Enchantment Relish Adoration Enjoyment Yearning Thirst Devotion Adulation Admiration Cherish Crush Delight Fondness Liking Appreciation Inclination Partiality

English... To me it is the perfect language. How else could one show, reveal, communicate, convey, indicate, make known, say, tell, voice, verbalize, state, proclaim, assert, declare, disclose, divulge, embody, exhibit or express so many varying degrees of the same feeling.

English is a language in which redundancy is welcome. The many different words of the language come together to paint vivid pictures that spur the imagination. To me all languages are perfect in their own way. A language is just like an art. It is shaped by history and defined by culture.

Language is a reflection of life.

English....

P.S My brother The Lord of Alcohol keeps telling me "sarcasm is the defence of the weak"

English, Igirisu, Ingles

2005-02-10T01:01:00.000+08:00

Okei, so before I go to sleep, lemme at least post something nicer than usual... so here goes...

The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners
have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in
England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor
is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone
beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up
as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not
computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

------------------
From all the truth, I can only lie
From all despair, I can only cry
From all the pain, I can only smile...

when you're weary...

2005-02-07T05:55:00.000+08:00

I'm damn frustrated. I can't write my part of the script for our CSP road show, while all the other parts are done. I'm pissed at myself. I've been staying up for quite a number of consecutive nights now, just trying to come up with something worth performing outside, but all the effort has produced nothing useful at all.

I've written around 3 drafts and deleted every one of them. I hate it. Why the hell can't I come up with a good script for something as simple as anti-game addiction? Damn it. This is the nth night that I've stayed up for this and still nothing oozes out of whatever creative faculties i might possess (I'm starting to think I have none)...

Did math for econ seriously for the first time. Quite fun, actually. It's just that it takes so long to do, and it really squeezes your brains out sometimes. At least for this one, I was able to squeeze out something. For my script, I'm still stumped.

On one of those nothing-better-to-do sites, I found this article some weeks ago about how to find out if you are addicted to stuff... Under pot addiction, there was this line that said, "You wear sunglasses at night, and see better." To my LTB group, does this ring a bell? I'm telling you all right now that this is not true. Wearing sunglasses at night and seeing better does not mean you are addicted to pot...

Ok, I will now stop wasting the time of all the people who bothered to read this useless entry. I hope that by some accident, you at least learn something (even the most mundane, yet neglected virtue) from this. If not, my apologies... I'm just not in the right mental state right now. I need sleep... But I can't. Alright. I said I'll stop, but I haven't. I will now.

"Everyone cries for the innocent, but I say we should love the guilty, too."
-Caedmon's Call

i love my ltb group

2005-02-05T01:16:00.000+08:00

in theory: red + blue = violet

try # 1: red + blue = grey

try # 2 : red + blue = brown

try # 3 : red + blue = green

Three tries. Three different results. Theory is bullshit.

Had so much fun doing the backdrop for our LTB show and tell today. It took us all day till 10 at night. But it was damn fun. And I have never had such a warm group. Damn great friends.

Then we all had roti prata to reward a day's worth of hard work. And we're very very hyped up for tuesday's show and tell. Even though we're not even half done preparing coz we're trying to cook up something really grand, with a little platform, a few songs, instruments and even amps, a load of artsy profile pics and a huge banner... I just hope we make it all fit into ten mins so we don't have to cut any part out.

Life's a Beach

2005-02-04T18:23:00.000+08:00

Imagine lying flat on your back, the grainy texture of sand tickling your neck and back. The waves are rhythmically lapping at your heels, sending an occasional cold shiver up your spine.

The coconut trees are yawning to the cloudless blue sky. You have not bothered to prop up the giant white umbrella beside you. Instead, you decide to work on that golden brown tan you’ve always wanted – just as much as I do.

The sun is blazing above you. You could almost feel its searing rays painting your face, arms and legs, giving you that baking-oven glow. Perspiration breaks on the bridge of your nose. You’re tongue is dry and you’re body thirsty.

You turn to your side, ignoring your nearly sun burnt shoulder and find a pitcher of ice-cold, freshly-squeezed Pomelo juice. Droplets of water streak down its glassy side.

You reach and grasp, feeling the chill in your palm.

Take a sip…

Ahhh.

Nobody's home

2005-02-02T01:07:00.000+08:00

Im talking bout my brain. Its seriously MIA right now. I have been so busy the past few days.. okay maybe not days but it seems like it. I have 100 pages to read for ethics, marketing proposal intro to do and a reflection paper that is in dire need of enlightenment. So, why am I blogging right now? I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA!!! why am I posting this here and not on my own blog? (see statement in caps) Anywayz...

Im sick of school. Im sick of Singapore. Im sick of all the pressure this is putting on my normally relaxed lifestyle. I thought I gave this all up when I graduated high school. I miss the days of just bumming here in C212 with nothing better to do. I miss being able to reply 'slacking' or 'nothing' to all the people who keep asking me what Im up to. I just miss not doing anything. Trust me, this is a luxury nowadays... something people would probably pay a premium for... lol. I try to stay away from all this madness which is why Im beginning to stay off msn, but its impossible to escape the clutches of Sanity Murdering Universities such as*cough* *cough* with classes like The Warlock's Class of Freakishly Idiotic Nerds And Neoritically Crazed Embodiments of Murdering Pyschopaths Who Enjoy Torturing Helpless Insomniacs Called Students Mainly Associated with Rampaging Koala Eaters Trying Ignorantly and Naively to Gloat.

Okay Im going mad.. really I dont know what on earth im typing anymore.

Links

2005-02-01T15:15:00.000+08:00

I'm going to put up a links section in a few days' time. Please send me the addresses of your blogs, favourite links, etc. via the comments section. Thanks!

"So far, so good, so far."
"Are you joking my leg?!"

The Blurred Ones

2005-02-01T03:00:00.000+08:00

Welcome dreamers, it has been some time since I last posted. I would like to share a story. I call it The Blurred Ones. It all began on a night of hunger and greyness. After attending to dreams of all who slept I was lost without a purpose. Thus, I grew bored and beckoned my brother The Lord of Alcohol. I told him that we would make a journey to the place named after the first man (Adams Road for those who are that blur). We were just about to leave the Lodge of the Evans when we were confronted by the being known as the Stoned One. He bore his Sigil. The sigil of sight (a camera). With his mystical device he began to record the events of the night. Interested in his all powerful sigil me and my brother decided not to leave but rather stay to admire his "documentary" of the mortal world. We began recording the mighty things that only beings of our power would dream of acomplishing. I summoned fire from the dreams of arsonists while my brother spewed forth ethanol to fuel the many fires that burnt that night. On that night many unexplainable things took place. But undoubtly the strangest thing was the appearance of the Blurred Ones. I shall soon post pictures of these strange beings. Before the night came to an end events had transpired that not even the greatest storytellers could imagine. What I learnt from that night of strangeness was that the sigil of sight is a powerful tool. With that I bid you all farewell.

It is always the perogative of the village fool to point out the king's bared flesh. However, at the end of the day the fool remains a fool and the king a king.

Paranormal

2005-02-01T02:27:00.000+08:00

5 people... 4 packs of magic... 3 sticks of incense... 2 flashes... one voice.
A night of wonder and awe.

The moon shone brightly that night. Not a sound could be heard in the desolate compound of concrete. Everything was still.

The five mercenaries gathered in a dark, isolated room. All were silent. They each took out a mysterious cylinder from their magical packs. Swift sparks... Darkness. They sat in an all too familiar circle of friendship and brotherhood. None said a word as mystic clouds began to form around the formation, blurring their human forms.

The Stone took out two sticks of incense and started burning them. All watched as two feeble columns of smoke rose up amidst the thickening mist. All swooned at the faint aroma that was beginning to fill the room. Physical boundaries within the mist were slowly disappearing, and they all knew that they were in a unified state in which the bond of brotherhood withstood all adversity. A sweet melody started floating through the air, carried forth by the soothing voice of the Dead Hero. The five brothers approached the state of unconsciousness.

Another spark. And yet another. Thin beams of light, bending and jerking about like flying whips circled the now undistinguishable components of the mist. Fire engulfed the mystic cloud as fiery flames shot across the room in repeated powerful thrusts. The room took on a life of its own as the sound burst into a thunderous uproar and the intensity of the night's ritual reached the climax.

Then... Silence.... Darkness.

The five brothers were again sitting in a circle, the mist was gone, and the voice has faded away. The Stone stood up and walked out into the young night. The others followed.

The ritual was over.

"Metaphor for a missing moment... Moving into a perfect circle..."

01.30.05 6:30 am

2005-01-30T17:18:00.000+08:00

I jerk up in bed, wide awake, sweating all over. It has been only three hours since I drifted off. The sun is not even peeking into our room yet with its warm, genial rays. I feel dreadful. Helpless.

Something is bothering me. But I cannot quite put my finger onto what it is. I am persistently pestered by a feeling - an inclination that a terrible thing has happened. Call it intuition. Call it superstition. Call it imagination. Whatever it is, it is definitely here. And it is here to stay.

I try to forget about it and go back to my peaceful slumber, to dreams of home, and friends, and love. It's useless. I wait for a call, a shock, a scream - anything that would at least let me know what's wrong... Nothing. Nothing but a loud silence outside and silent turbulence within. I toss and turn, trying to keep still, trying to run from this unspoken horror. I cover myself. For protection, for shame. For shame that I am not able to run nor to hide. For shame that I am not able to uncover this adversary. For shame that I am filled with fear. For shame that I am ashamed to show it. And for shame that there is nobody to show it to.

Then the Unnamed Feeling comes alive... and takes me away...

Gah...

2005-01-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

Seems like my post synaptic neurons are having a hard time receiving the electrochemical from my pre-synaptic neurons. Bleh...I'm going to have my Psychology midterm on Friday... Good lord, 200 freaking pages.

I completely wasted Saturday. I woke up at 12:00 noon because I slept at around 4 am working like a madman on some work of rubbish. For some reason, I slept again at 4 pm, and woke up groggily at 8 pm. Sometimes, I think I live such a complicated life, but then again, "that's life".

I just finished reading my TWC textbook, and I'm not sure if something did go in my head. I feel really weird. I feel like sleeping (again), and at the same time not feeling to sleep. Something's totally wrong with my Hypothalamus.

I know I'm completely making no sense at all, but I just find the need to blabber at the moment. So there...Not so sensible as promised, but, heck...That's how the world goes, I guess.
______________________
.:all my life's dysfunction, alive in front of me:.

The Effects of Alcohol

2005-01-30T01:10:00.000+08:00

Welcome young ones, it is I the Sandman once again. I am currently in a state of improperness(I am tipsy) . I have been in the land of Singapore for a time of 4 months and I am facing much agony. It is a land of pain and suffering. I am totally drained of all energies and I have yet to dream a good dream. I despise this land. It is boring, lame and full of people who try to be what they are not. I do not understand. I need humanity. All I have in this foreign land is my best brother. The Lord of Alcohol. Let it be known that he is the best brother one can have. I would like to personally thank him on this blog. Tonight he treated me to dinner and I am eternally grateful. Thanks brother. I dunno why I keep typing more and more and more and more crap as each second passes by. Thus, I am going to do something else. I dunno what the point of this post was. I guess I just wanted to thank my brother who always takes care of me and is always there when I need help. That is it.....

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

bored bored bored...

2005-01-29T13:20:00.000+08:00

JJ is turning into a real poet hehe..how much beer u drink this time?? k im having serious indigestion right now hehe.. had like a 5mins lunch cos was late for class hehe.. Man im stressed..got so many assignments and all hehe... im DYING!! k im officially gone..Oi sam, Skype got alot of adware.. hehe.. i cant believe its week5 already.. time flies so fast man..it seems like yesterday i was stuck at home in kl hehe..
BUT i have come to one conclusion.. BGS is the biggest waste of time i have ever seen, i mean sitting for three hours speaking bout Business, i mean WOOHOO!! (yeah ritte).. i cld be better off sleeping.. i think half the time the prof also thinks so too since he digresses so much.. im like half asleep already hehe...
I just realised something..my prof's shirt today makes him look like a watermelon.. k ive seriously got nothing to do.. so i shall go baq to sleep wif my eye open

Ciao

CJ

The Unfelt Presence

2005-01-28T16:54:00.000+08:00

The Unfelt Presence

One night I woke up from my deep sleep,

Searching and longing for your presence.

For ages that you have been away,

My heart's existence begins to fade away.

But then my closed eyes saw this yawning gate.

My cold feet suddenly thrusted in a forward motion

Towards the very tiny opening,

Not knowing what lies ahead.

Then deafening silence surrounded the place.

It seemed as if there was this visible ghost,

Standing infront of my weary body

Trying to remove the stone planted inside my heart.

When I opened my eyes, you were there.

But why am I not feeling anything?

I see you but my heart does not feel you.

Why? I am certain only you can tell why!

SKYPE

2005-01-28T15:39:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone, try downloading the SKYPE program, it allows us to talk over the internet for free. Go to www. skype.com or click on the blog title. According to a friend it's clearer than a telephone line... we'll see. My username is sammy_christian, so as soon as you've downloaded it, look me up in the directories. SAM

Current and Pressing Issues in the Philippines

2005-01-28T13:13:00.001+08:00

A sense of country is the foundation stone of nation-building. This can be developed by being updated with the current and most pressing issues in the Philippines. For a critical, highly-opinionated analysis of some of these issues, you may check my friend Josh's blog. Let's encourage those whose love of country compels them to cry change.

Possibilities

2005-01-27T11:13:00.000+08:00

IM back.. im back.. damn man.. my life is like a soap opera.. im baq wif cherie for the moment *grin*.. she said she would change so im gonna see how i guess.. but this time im gonna protect my heart a bit more hehe *grin*... she agreed to gimme my "space" which means can spend time wif u guys so we shall see hehe... Anyway.. i need a huge favour.. cos rite.. she says she wana get to noe my friends.. which means all u guys.,. so rite.. when u all see her or somethin in schooll.. could u all smile at her and say "Hi!" or something hehe... im still not sure if its the rite choice.. but i feel it would be a waste if i didnt give it one last shot... so i hope u guys can support me hehe.. but im still a half-Pinoy k... ahahah...
anyway.. gtg and do some work.. (SUCKS!!)

Cheers

CJ

2005-01-26T11:25:00.000+08:00

Jessica, Denise the Birthday Girl, and Gervin. [left to right, not right to left. It's easy to be confused.] (Peace Caca, Gerv!) Any idea how I can get the rest of the pics up?

Guy Smiley (I don't know why i just typed that in)

2005-01-26T01:34:00.000+08:00

First of all, happy birthday to my best friend! She never fails to light up my day...

Also, thanks to Marou for a very amusing conversation last Monday during my Math for Econ class. Hahaha, I swear, I'm gona get back at you...

-------------------------------------------------------

I look at her, but she looks away. A frail attempt at a conversation ends in a fierce arguement. I step back to give space. She advances and threatens. Every word is a knife in the heart, every pause the eye of a storm.

All it took was a small gust of wind.

All threads broke.
All hell broke lose.
All that were left were two people - broken.

I struggle to pick up each piece.
I struggle with each little piece of me.
I struggle to piece them back together.

I struggle to hold them all together.

So this is goodbye...

"Nais kong ibalik ang dating ningning ng ating bituin."
"Like a knife that cuts you - the wound heals, but the scar remains..."

Disjointed thoughts...

2005-01-25T21:26:00.000+08:00

Hmm...not really sure what to put in here...I know I'm lousy, my first post and I can't think of anything decent to put up.

Well, first off, thanks to Kuya Sam for inviting me here as well as for listening to my blabbering last night! haha! You must posses an overwhelming amount of patience for listening to me! *laughs*

I'll try to post more sensible things by and by, but not now. I still have to read Chapter 1 of Nigeria's constitution, plus read the remaining 40 pages for my Democracy class. *sighs* If anyone knows where I'm able to purchase patience and dedication, do let me know. *sarcastic laughter*

Laterz... *waves*

-------------
In a world where life is not a gift
But a cruel punishment
I stand alone

2005-01-25T17:58:00.000+08:00

one of the VERY FEW decent looking pictures taken on Denise's birthday. (Still trying to figure out how to put the others online...)

ITs over.. A new beginning??

2005-01-25T14:54:00.000+08:00

Well... its over...its really over.. i dun believe it.. 2 and a half yrs and its over *sighz*.. im asking myself if i made a mistake... in letting her go.. did i?? i never realised a heart was so fragile.. so succeptible to pain and emotion.. and wads funny is... im a guy??!!! i never really realised how much i apprecitated all of u until this incident.. alrite.. so whallop me in being slow to realise who my real friends are but i didnt... For all of u.. ure advice in helping me.. in keeping me strong during this time.. I cherish each of u.. in so many diff ways.. and ill honestly say.. ill need u guys more than ever now...u noe.. im quite sad in a way.. im devastated over my loss.. yet when i spoke to her earlier she was so happy.. telling me she was goin out wif this other guy whose her ex class mate next week... and im like wad da hell?? didnt i mean nything..it sorta justifies that i made the right choice..Ive always believed in the quote.. friends4ever... always.. and i stand by it and feel that all of us can be friends4ever.. i may not truly be a pinoy like all of u... but i feel like one of u... so i dun speak the lingo.. my only words being "puta", "putang ina mo", "telagah" and "gaguh" but u guys can teach me more rite hehe... but really. im one of u... and will treasure each of ure freindships....

CHeers

PINOY Wannabee a.k.a CJ DA MALAYSIAN

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...

2005-01-24T06:40:00.000+08:00

I have become re-addicted to blogging. Anyway, I'm just bored and lazy, so I decided to write something extra...

Why are we made to need sleep? Sometimes I feel that by sleeping, I lose out on precious time with which I can utilize the limited hours of my life. At times, I cannot stand the thought of lying around without doing anything - nay, without even thinking of anything potent or creative. And this is exactly what I think sleeping makes us do.

We sleep an average of 8 hours a day (ideally). With those 8 hours, I could extend study time by 1 hour, I could watch a movie (2 hours), I could chat with - say - even just three friends (1 hour), I could play basketball or bridge (1 hour), I could read up on something that interests me (2 hours), and I could fool around with a blog (1 hour).

So if we were not made to need sleep, we would have an average of 56 more hours per week, and 2920 hours per year. That's almost 3000 hours per year, lost to such an unfruitful activity. With that amount of wasted time, I could finish all my school work without too much stress (365 more hours to study), leaving more time for extra-curricular endeavors. I could watch 365 movies, chat with 1095 people (who, of course, will overlap), play basketball or bridge at least another 365 times, read around 17800 pages of schools of thought that tickle my mind, and write around 29 200 more words in some blog. Not to mention clubbing, shopping, going to the beach, etc. (for these activities require money as well as time, defeating the purpose of holding all else constant).

It's such an irony that for our bodies and minds to be able to function at the optimum, we need to lose 3000 hours of active life per year. Is there any justice in this world?

"In a moment we lost our minds here
And lay our spirit down Today we lived a thousand years
All we have is now

Run to the water
And find me there
Burnt to the core but not broken
We’ll cut through the madness
Of these streets below the moon
With a nuclear fire of love in our hearts

Yeah, I can see it now lord
Out beyond all the breakin’ of waves
And the tribulation
It’s a place and the home of ascended souls
Who swam out there in love!"

-Run to the Water, by Live

3 Libras

2005-01-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

The pain is just too much to bear. You leave yourself bare for everyone to see and they'd pounce and step on you like you were some small, helpless creature that cannot defend itself. It hurts like hell. I wish I never let it out without protection from the cruelty and harshness of the world. Now I'm in pain, and there's no way to undo it...

I'm never gonna play basketball barefooted again.

"I threw you the obvious, just to see if there's more behind those eyes of a fallen angel... eyes of a tragedy...

Oh well... Oh well...

Apparently nothing... nothing at all...

...Here I am expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded. But I look right through it all, and see you naked but oblivious...

And you don't see me..."

Life......

2005-01-23T16:51:00.000+08:00

yeah yeah... i noe i bin postin alot recently.. so just humour me can...*grin*.. i dunno if u all noe.. but i am officially a single swingin bachelor again.. yup broke up wif cherie... DAMN!! 2 years!!!... over jus like that... i noe im supposed to feel sad and all... and devastated etc etc... but i dun.. yeah course im a bit sad... but in a diff way.. sad cos i wished things could have bin different.. i realised that two incompatible people can never be together no matter how much u give.. unless u both give together... LOVE.. is weird...I aint gonna change my notion bout love though.. ill always give my best and my fullest.. i jus hope in future i get some back in return...im also dissapointed i guess.. wif myself... for thinking that miracles do happen...

weird..weird..weird...

well now im officially a PINOY!! no strings attached aahah...
k better study

Cheers

CJ

Get me outta here...

2005-01-23T16:32:00.000+08:00

Help!!! Im at school right now... its darn hot. Im not joking... theres no decent place to sit. So.. why am I in school on a Sunday? I have absolutely no idea. Okay... so maybe I do, but still I dont know why I agreed. Im getting burned even though im under the large tent located somewhere on the upper quad... well its pretty obvious so you can't miss it. So tell me, why am I still getting burned??? I have no idea... arrrrrgh.. Im melting!!!

Im just really bored at the moment... I really am getting burned... sigh.. SAVE ME!!! I have to suffer through this horrible noise they call music... Im sorry I dont like the song... Oh yea.. for the benefit of those who check this blog. I'd like to inform all of you that Vergel will be singing tomorrow during Patron's Day.. like some rap thing. Okay I am just absolutely bored at the moment...

ARGH!! I was just asked to stand up like what 4 times??? 4 times in the span of what??? 1 minute. 1 MINUTE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Finally some shade.. okay this is a lot of totally senseless crap... well duh.. crap is usually senseless right? hmmm it must really be hot.. the heat's getting to me.. argh my arms hurt!!! I know im nocturnal... but I dont think im a creature of the night yet... well.. if i were then i wouldn't even be here typing all this crap... id be this gross liquid on the floor.. with probably the head still screaming.., IM MELTING!!!!

Okay.. ill come up with something that makes more sense some other time.. im just whining right now =P oh yea.. i saw my really annoying team from last year's event. They still haven't given me my community service hours for last year. Dude! I had to put up with so much crap and hello nothing??? The only reason i joined was coz my friend coerced me and i was promised what 20 hours??? Hello? 1/4 of my comm service requirement done? oh well this is just great. Anyway Vanda's back.. haha they're going to start dancing.. wooohoooo... lol okay this is just so out of character for me.. or is it? hahaha see yah!

Thank you to the people who tried to hide from me on the bus earlier.. u guys were just so inconspicuous (did i spell it right? like i care=P)

Peepz come for Patron's Day tomorrow.. we have to support Vanda.. oh yea thats besides the free beer. Darn that guy is soooo good... hes on the keyboard.. cool =P okay Id better stop now.=)

Lil bit out of it!!

2005-01-23T05:19:00.000+08:00

k... ill be straightforward and honest... i am a lil tipsy right now.. think i had too much to drink *grin*.. went drinkin wif friends today... and man were we mad.. my friend was so drunk he walked into the lamp post and then apologised to it... weird rite... about how drinking is one of the few escapes in like.. I aint a heavy drinker yet tonight i just drank and drank... im wondering to myself if it was just an escape for me from my numerous problems... (yeah i got alot)...but thinkin back now. i realise it was quite a stupid thing to do... i mean like,.. to make matters worse.. its like 5am cos i couldnt get to sleep.. i must have a sad life ahahah...Sometimes i feel like im doig so many things for others.. but nothing for myself.. is this right?? dun get me wrong.. i aint ungrateful or anything.. i mean i enjoy helping others.. knowing i can makes me feel real good.. but wad about helping myself?? sometimes i jus wish things were different.. k.. im gonna try to zzz now hehe... Nitez or morning to all!!!

Cheers

CJ

My First Ever Pool Competition!

2005-01-23T01:04:00.000+08:00

I woke up feeling very sleepy today! Well, ya someone woke me up at 3 in the morning to tell me something(You know who you are,haha! But don't worry I understand)

To cut things short, well me and Adit journeyed to Mambo Billiards and well, we won our first matches. Man I was so nervous! Right after I won I called up my mom to tell her the result. Since it was like my first competition, it was like I already won the championship. Then Kat called me up to tell me that they were gonna catch up.

So I played my second game feeling more confident only to lose. Haha! It was just not my lucky day! Anyway, let's rewind things. When I was about to supposedly take my last shot of the competition, then came Sam(the opera singer), Gervin(the rapper), Caca(my alarm clock today and thanks for the seafood noodle soup), Kat(thanks for the ham sandwiches! Yummy!), Jan (you sure jogged ten rounds today huh!) and Vanda( keep it up with Marvin! You two make a perfect couple!) Well, ya they witnessed my downfall! Haha! Too bad Adit didn't also make it. (Well, at least someone you were hoping to support you did actually support you! )

Today was really a stressful day! Just ask Achie Charlene. She'll know why. Haha!

"The only constant thing in this world in change...."

2005-01-22T21:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes the best thing to do is to accept and move on! Something I found in the net... wanna share it with you guys.... might be a bit more of what we experienced but this is definitely profound! So here goes!

The Long Road Home By Lia Gay

I find myself packing again. Well, let's be completely honest, this isn't really packing - it's shoving three weeks' worth of dirty clothes into a suitcase and having my roommate sit on it so I can get it to close.
This time is different; this isn't the same nostalgic trip down memory lane as when I packed before college. This is the "night before my first trip home frantic pack." So you get the idea - my plane leaves in two hours, and no, college didn't teach me to procrastinate. I was experienced in that art long before I stepped onto my college campus.
So now that I'm packed, I have a minute to examine my emotions about my first trip home. I'm excited. My best friend, Matt, picks me up, groggy, for our 4:00 a.m. drive. My expectations are that I am going home to what I left: my parents, home-cooked meals, friends with whom I shared distinctive bonds and my long-distance boyfriend, whom I have been dying to see. I am happy at college, but a trip home, to my family and friends, sounds like just the thing I need to prepare me for the prefinals crunch.
I think I will catch up on the missed hours of sleep on the plane. Instead, I look around and realize that most of the exhausted passengers are students just like me. Below us, in the cargo bin, sits a year's worth of dirty laundry at least.
I miss my connecting flight, so I am later than expected. I step off the plane to find my mom frantic, thinking I had been "abducted" on the trip home. I look at her puzzled. I guess in a mother's eyes there is no logical explanation for being late, such as the obvious flight trouble. I assure her that I am fine and that I don't need to fly as an "unaccompanied minor" on the way back.
A few hours later, I'm back at the airport, waiting for my boyfriend's arrival home. He steps off the plane with the same groggy but excited look I wore hours before. We drive over to see my dad, who seems calmer than my mother had been. I ask to see my room, expecting to find my shrine, my old pompoms, prom pictures, candid photos of friends and dolls scattered about. To my surprise, everything is gone; there's not even a trace I had ever lived in the room. I'm starting to wonder if I really had been abducted on the way home. It's as if the second I became a "college" student, I had ceased to exist.
I start to wonder what else had changed since I'd been gone. My parents are in an awkward transition, wondering how to treat me now. They wrestle with whether to treat me - still their daughter - as one of them, an adult, or as the child they feel they sent away months earlier.
I run into two of my best friends from high school; we stare blankly at each other. We ask the simple questions and give simple, abrupt answers. It's as if we have nothing to say to each other. I wonder how things have changed so much in such a small amount of time. We used to laugh and promise that no matter how far away we were, our love for each other would never change. Their interests don't interest me anymore, and I find myself unable to relate my life to theirs.
I had been so excited to come home, but now I just look at it all and wonder: Is it me? Why hadn't the world stood still here while I was gone? My room isn't the same, my friends and I don't share the same bond, and my parents don't know how to treat me - or who I am, for that matter.
I get back to school feeling half-fulfilled, but not disappointed. I sit up in my bed in my dorm room, surrounded by my pictures, dolls and mementos. As I wonder what has happened, I realize that I can't expect the world to stand still and move forward at the same time. I can't change and expect that things at home will stay the same. I have to find comfort in what has changed and what is new; keep the memories, but live in the present.
A few weeks later, I'm packing again, this time for winter break. My mom meets me at the curb. I have come home accepting the changes, not only in my surroundings, but most of all in me.

May Mahihiling pa ba Ako?

2005-01-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

Wala ako sa Evans Lodge. Parang ang sarap pakinggan diba? Parang buntong-hininga lagi ang kasunod kapag naririnig ang pariralang yan. Tunay na kapag wala ka sa lugar na pinagsasawaan mo sa bawat araw na ginawa ng Diyos ay katumbas na ng isang engrandeng bakasyon. Ngunit, maniwala kayo man o hindi, hindi ko kasalukuyang nararamdaman ang nakakayamot na pakiramdam na iyon. Tila nakakagulat ang binitawan kong mga salita, pero totoo dahil sa dalawang simple at mahahalagang dahilan.

Una, naiintindihan ko na ang dahilan kung bakit ako nilagay sa isang maliit at masikip na kwarto. Naiintindihan ko na rin kung bakit ako hinayaan niya na kumain sa Food Haven araw-araw. Simpleng sagot: Para mapahalagahan at mapasalamatan ko ang mga pribelehiyo na aking nararanasan ng nasa Manila pa ako. Tila, binabali wala ko lang ang kwarto ko sa bahay, tambak dito tambak doon, tapon dito tapon doon! Kulang nalang ay may lumabas na ahas sa mga damit at papel na nagkalat sa sahig. Hindi lumalampas ang isang araw na hindi mo maririnig ang sermon ng nanay ko sa gamit at kadumihan ng aking kwarto. Lagi ko naman iniisip na "OK lang yan.. may maid naman!" Subalit, nang duamating ako sa ikatlong palapag ng Evans Lodge-A306, nag-iba ang lahat. Natuto akong maging maayos. Natuto ako maging obsessive compulsive sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon na siguradong pagnalaman ng nanay ko ay makakapagsimba siya ng 10 beses araw-araw. Hindi ko na sasabihin lahat ng pagiging "OC" ko, kayo nalang bahala maghusga. Kahit nauumay at sawang-sawa na ako sa Food Haven, aking napagtanto na hindi lagi meron ka pagpipilian.Merong mga bagay-bagay na kailangan mo nalang pagtiyagaan at tanggapin dahil kung pagtutuunan mo pa ng pansin.. hay nako, magsasayang ka lang ng oras sa inis. Konting tiyaga at sanayan nalang, hindi naman lahat tayo at mga prinsesa at prinsipe na may mga sariling kaharian.

Ang pangalawa at ang pinakamahalagang dahilan kung bakit ko masaasabing masaya at kumpleto na ang aking pagmamalagi sa Evans Lodge ay dahil sa mga tao. Ang sarap isipin na may mga kaibigan kang nandyan kahit malayo ka sa bahay. Ang sarap isipin na sila ang pinakadahilan ng kasiyahan sa araw-araw mong pakikipagsapalaran. Mapapagpalit ko ba ang roommate ko na sobrang bait? Nakapag masmauna ako matulog sa kanya ay walang pasubali siyang lalabas ng kwarto at magaaral sa labas dahil alam niya na hindi ako nakakatulog pag may ilaw at maginay. Salamt narin kay Vanda dahil sa mga payo niya kapag "naghaheart to heart talk" kami. ..daig pa si Joe 'd Mango. Salamat sa kanya at natitiis niya ako kapag ginigising ko siya at kinakantahan ng "Old Mcdonald, Twinkle Twinkle, Baa Baa Black Sheep, atpb" . Kung ako ang nasa lugar niya ay hahambalusin ko ang sino mang gumawa sakin nun! Hindi lang si Vanda ang nagsisilbing inspirasiyon ko..nandyan ang boy band namin- Aaron, Gerv, JJ, Sam, Cj, at Vince- Sila ang mga payasong walang sawang kinakanta ang Eternal Flame na may voicing pa at Kung Fu Fighting na may kasama pang actions. Kulang nalang na mamatay kami sa tawa at sa hiya kapag ginagawa nila iyon. Talagang mga likhang siraulo lang talaga sila na kahit sintunado ang karamihan sa kanila, aba.. sige.. Kanta lang!- Ika nga nila "sing as if no one is listening"- Pati ang soundtrack ng Phantom of the Opera, hindi pinatawad...buti nalang narinig ko ang original dahil kung hindi, aakalain kong sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon ay palpak si Andrew Lloyd Weber. Kaya tila kaming mga babae ang napapahamak baka akalain kasi ng tao na may inaalagaan kaming galing mental.Pero alam mo? Kahit loko loko itong mga mokong na ito, sila rin kumukumpleto ng araw ko. Sila ang umuukit ng aking ngiti kahit sobrang pagod galing klase. Siyempre, kung may grupo ng boys.. may grupo rin ang girls. Nandyan si caca,jan,bea,denise, charlene at vanda. Nako, kala mo mga tahimik na Maria Clara; yun pala, mga Sisa na punong-puno ng kalokohan at kakornihan! Kapag sabihin ko pa lahat ng pinaggagawa namin, hindi sapat ang buong blog. Sabihin nalang natin na "looks could be very deceiving" ;P Sinong makakapagpalit sa mga taong ganito kasarap kasama?

Kaya ngayon, punong-puno na ako ng buhay at kagalakan tuwing gumigising ako. Dahil alam ko na kahit bumagsak man ako, mahirapan ako sa klase o tubuan ng isang kilometrong eyebags ay hindi ako iiwan ng mga kaibigan ko. Maniwala kayo o hindi, sila ang mga taong pinagkukunan ko ng inspirasyon; sila rin ang mga taong pinagdadasal ko bago ako matulog. Nung una, masasabi kong ayoko na dito kasi puro aral lang naman; Pero ngayon, masasabi ko "aral LANG yan!", mas mahalaga ang mga taong humuhubog sayo sa pagiging matatag at mabuting indibidwal na nagsisilbing inspirasyon mo na makamit ang mga matayog mong pangarap.

Vanda, Bea, Denise, Caca,Jan,Cha, JJ, Vince,Gerv, Sam at Aaron...walang makakapalit sa inyo! (=",=)

* sa mga hindi nakakaintindi ng Filipino, bahala kayo.. intindihin niyo yan!*

* todo cheesy noh? pagbigyan niyo na ako*

This is not me...

2005-01-22T14:06:00.000+08:00

I walk in and nobody's home. I feel lonely. This is not even MY home...

I try to get some sleep. To forget. Forget what I could do nothing about. But it keeps bugging me even in my sleep.

I am haunted by dreams I had left miles away. I thought I would be able to escape, I thought I had let go - but how they cling to me weeping, screaming, sucking me into their void of destruction and despair.

I am haunted by nightmares in this new life I have chosen. What used to be bright and promising have turned into pits of pitch darkness. I have trapped myself. I have killed myself.

Shall I fight on, or let myself out? Should I choose to fight on, where and for what? Should I choose to run, to where and to whom? I am stuck in darkness, indecisive as to where my next decision should lead me...

----------------------"So let it be written, so let it be done..."----------------------------

Reminders :)

2005-01-21T16:00:00.000+08:00

To all Friendship Roommates:

Please support Lord Kristoffer III as he strives for victory tomorrow at the pool competition. Gerv, do not forget the banners.

Another thing, do not forget to greet Denise again before you sleep.

Thanks!

Journal of the Dream King

2005-01-21T14:20:00.000+08:00

I have been working very hard lately (or so I think)..... Studying every facet of the mortal subject known to me as Business Management. I have set forth into five fields of research creative thinking, analytical skills, business government and society, management accounting and business law. All these fields have allowed me to progress further into the realm of Business Management. So far there has been great success in my endeavors into these fields.

As such I felt it was time for me to enjoy a night of revelry with my brothers Vincent, Lord of Alcohol and Paolo, Lord of Dementia. Thus I decided to travel to the domain of my brother Paolo through the waking world. And so I left the comfort of my Dream Castle, The Lodge of the Evans (pronounced as "heavens") , and began the long journey to my brother's domain. I decided that since I was well acquainted with the land of Singapore Management University (SMU) I would start the arduous journey from there. Thus, I entered the mind of a mortal dreaming of the land of SMU and from there I materialized in the waking world. The journey to the House of Pao had just begun.

I journeyed far from the land of SMU to the place known as the Bus stop. It was here that I met my brother Vincent who had just come into being with the help of abandoned beer bottle (for it takes much energy to enter the waking world without an object to help in the manifestation of a mortal form). As Lords of the Realms me and my brothers must manifest ourselves as mortals, lest our magnificent true forms become the envy of all in the waking world. Upon joining my brother I waved my hand and summoned the wings of "Comfort" (the cab company..... for those who do not know). I told the mortal who guided the wings of "Comfort" to take us to the far away land of Pasir de'Ris, home to many of the richer mortals of the waking world.

Many days passed as we continued to the House of Pao. The journey was long but after 17 days we finally reached the House of Pao. It was the most magnificent castle I had ever seen. It was white as ivory and adorned in the light of the morning star. I beckoned my brother Paolo from the gates of his looming castle and he came swiftly down to greet us. It was a moment of bliss as the three of us had finally been reunited after many years apart. My brother guided us into the courtyard of his castle where a feast had been prepared in expectance of us. Whole lambs had been skillfully prepared along side a myriad of other dishes. The meat of the finest boars hunted by the thunder god, Thor, himself were laid upon our tables. So fragrant was the food that had any of the multitude of aromas left the castle that night it would have tortured the sense of any mortal with its limitless allure. The night of revelry had begun.....

To be continued.........

Sand my A#@

2005-01-20T13:18:00.000+08:00

Now either the sandman drank too much or he was really bored. heheh... Life is weird u noe.. who would have thought that we would all be friends ahahah.. but its kewl... hehe... This a great idea Sam, and JJ.. nice poem and yes u were half drunk.. u noe why??? cos only a drunk person would say he is not drunk...damn.. only 3 weeks into term and im stressed as hell.... as caca would say.. "wad a life".... This could possibly be a breakthrough though... to test us ahahhah...
Actually this the first time im writin a blog... never bothered to before... anyway.. to all those that are soon to join.... WWWWWAAAAZZZUUUP?????!!!!..k im officially mad... =)

The Sandman

2005-01-20T11:22:00.000+08:00

Come hither all ye folk of the mortal realm. I am The Sandman, ruler of this puny dream realm I call the friendship room. As the Lord of this realm I demand a tribute of $0.04 everytime an advertisment on my websit.... *cough* *cough* I mean realm is clicked. Any who question my rule shall perish, for it was me who entered the mind of the young one, Kristoffer James Joseph, while he was sleeping after a night of much drinking (one quarter of a can to be exact). It was then that I used my infinite powers to inspire his dream of the "friendship room". It is now that I shall rule this dream realm justly. And it will forever be a dream that will never die.

The Sandman

The Friendship Room

2005-01-19T23:45:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! I actually wrote this poem of mine the night that, well, according to my friends I was drunk. (But trust me I was not!) Anyway, here's the story. After playing bridge, I went back to my room to sleep. But then something came into my mind. I suddenly decided to write a poem for no reason at all. Well here it goes! Haha!

THE FRIENDSHIP ROOM

This is where everything all began.
This is where our journey started.
This is where we became friends.
And this is where it all actually ended.

Everyday was full of conversations,
Full of laughter and jokes,
Full of shared secrets,
And full of fond memories.

But then as time passed by,
As more friends entered our lives,
We tend to forget the past
And just live in the present.

True it may be, however
If it was not for the past,
This friendship would not be made
Like pieces of wood built into houses.

Everything might be history for you
But no matter what happens,
I know my life has changed
Since the day it all started in the Friendship Room.

The Very First Post

2005-01-18T18:11:00.000+08:00

This is the communal blog of the SMU folks stuck here in Evans Lodge: The Solution to Our Aging.